After some thinking which spend the whole nite, i guess i noe y am i sad .. Is useless neway .. Coz I guess I am missing something in my life .. but I duno wat do i miss. Crap is isnt it ? =7
Oh well... was kinda excited before Friday, coz got CG .. but end up i went there with a sad mood, I think I hide my emotion in a good way, I guess no one able to sense it .. coz I still able to laugh around and so on. Hiding my mood is one of the thing thatI alwiz use to do so. I dun want my mood affect the others as well, just like yesterday that CG .. never noe is Lydia's birthday is coming soon.. hmm. Actually, my 1st time to noe that her name. The CG starts half and hour late and end early, due to we guys are kinda quiet ? no idea bout that. Not discussing bout last week notes, coz I guess they "ter"hand in those, so we discuss bout the notes that 2 weeks ago, bout the BEST way to listen to God.
Chat around, laugh around, and the bday cake .. bday song and so on .. just try to scare Lydia by dashed fwd and pushed her head to the cake, while she attempt to take out the candles with her mouth (some sort of coll joke). After the cakes, sat around the table, enjoying the Pringles that i bought. Chat around, with my eyes looking at the Neopets, which I never realise there is so much cheat for everything in that... That explains how ppl get so many rare items and not to forget those mysterious jelly become so cheap and some of them are too rare to get.
Lydia become the latest that can't believe at my age, I guess I really childish, time to grow up I suppose. *Sigh* Do u noe how hurt is it when u can't mix with someone at your own age, and go around mix with those who are younger than u?? Growing up is one of the things I hate, I couldnt accept the fact that my bday is that soon and I will be turning to 21. Y ?! I can't even get to mix around with those older than me and so on, I really got no idea why is this happen to me. Looking at my college mates, go around, woo those gals, snooker, clubbing, karaoke, smoking watch porn .. Looking at those ppl that I went to the party last time, played dare devil up to daring ppl kiss ? Man .. this at least i still can accept, wearing underwear on ur head and dance around ?! Drinking vodka from a guy's belly... This is what I kenot accept at all .. NOT AT ALL!! This is just my life, a sad, lonely and extreme pathetic life of mine. What else I can do .. what else I can do ??? Anyone ..tell me ..
Be a grown up, what should I actually do?? I will never able to mix in those groups .. i got no idea what actually gone wrong.. I grew up in a very diff family, which parents control alot. I hardly go out, till i got left out. This is just my life ..
Like that someone, and end up I go mess up the whole thing .. Wonder, anything can go more bad than this ? *sigh*
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